How much is too much?

 It was an engrossing evening! The two families have each a high-school-going child…they were debating how much should they involve themselves in the day to day affairs of their child. They debated and fully agreed that it’s super-critical that the child stays on the right course, knows what’s right and takes own responsibility to shape one’s own future. But they weren’t sure how to make sure that everything goes fine… they have seen examples where a child has misuses the freedom granted by the parents; they also know the other extreme where a child is fully dependent on the support systems that keep spoon-feeding and struggles to survive in the real world. So, it’s natural to conclude that one needs a fine balance between the two extremes. So, the question remains….should the parent be knowing all the conversations that the child has, should the parent know where the child goes and what he does…and so on! Shouldn’t one leave the child to figure out what’s right? In some parts of the world, this might be considered Nazi rule over the child…

Possibly, nobody knows the right answer. I think, there is no right answer; rather it’s all about the context in which the child grows up and the values one learns to live with. It’s the way the parents walk the talk and talk the walk with the child. It’s the way the influencers on the child’s life walk the talk and talk the walk. Simple… but, many parents either shy away or don’t have the skills to visualise the walk, analyse it and talk the walk. That’s the precise reason why the child goes astray.

Let’s think about teams losing their way. Indian cricket team at the moment is a brilliant example. I often think why and how Jack Welch delivered his promises quarter after quarter 72 times in a row…how he managed the team! If I apply the above 3-point formula of visualising the walk, analysing it and talking the walk, it suddenly seem to be falling in place.

Possibly the Indian cricket team is lost a bit now because the team as a whole and it’s leaders aren’t able to visualise the walk (the combination of players, the character of patience and application required of them). They are possibly not talking about it and hence, they just seem to be lost… they are defending when the call should be attack and vice versa. So, it explains!

Leaders have to visualise the right way, define the signs of success, observe keenly for the signs of success along the journey, talking about the right way regularly. Simple! Let’s do it…

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